Spiritual Training Cycle: Submission (wk. 6/13)
“Forgive and Forget” is a phrase people often use. You’ve probably said it yourself as well. But how accurate is that statement? And do you really mean it when you say it? Sure, we can forgive, and the Bible teaches and tells us how to forgive one another. Forgetting the offense, the hurt, the lies, the betrayal, the anger I’d argue that’s harder than the act of forgiving.
We’ve all experienced pain and betrayal at some point in our lives; some self-inflicted and some beyond our control. In the moment the angst, anger, confusion, or guilt creates a giant pit in your stomach and your heart. It can physically make us sick, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually it just feels gross. But sometimes in a weird way it feels good to wallow, to carry all of those toxic emotions even if we know it’s not healthy. The problem with choosing to hold onto the offense and bitterness of not forgiving yourself or someone else is it keeps you stuck where you are. The other person has already moved on; they have no idea, nor do they care that you’re sitting there stewing in a puddle of emotions. You only hurt yourself by choosing the path of unforgiveness.
I have experienced the toxic emotions, the wallowing and the choosing to stay stuck where I was this year at The Fittest Experience, a local CrossFit competition. I was competing as a Masters athlete and was in second place going into the second day of competition. I had three workouts ahead of me, one which I knew beforehand would not be my strongest event. This event led straight into the third and final event of the day. I stepped out on the floor, gave it my all, failed a lot of handstand push-ups, watched my competition blast past me and it took everything I had to not cry during the workout. Mentally I was in a bad place. And that’s not like me at all. The third workout following this event was one I could have and should have crushed. It had all of my favorite movements and skills I am proficient at. But my mind was stuck in the previous workout. My emotions of anger, regret, bitterness, self-loathing, not being able to forgive myself, forget what just happened and move on caused me to struggle both mentally and physically. I wanted to cry and quit. I hated that I felt that way and I hated that I had let myself get to that place emotionally. I couldn’t shake it no matter how hard I tried.
Those feelings and emotions are not our identity and it’s not how we are called to live. Once we have stepped into a relationship with Jesus we, “lay down our old selves and are renewed in the spirit of our minds; in the likeness of God” (Ephesians 4:22-24). We are to choose the path of forgiveness: forgiving ourselves and forgiving others so we can move forward.
The final day going into the competition I had an hour drive to focus my thoughts for the day. I knew I didn’t want to compete with the same bad attitude from the previous day. I spent the entire hour praying, thanking God for a healthy, strong body and the opportunity to compete. I listened to praise and worship music and just gave it over to Him. And you know what? I didn’t win. I ended up 4th place, but I had fun. I was joyful, I had motivation and energy like I’ve never had before. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Ephesians 4:31-32 encourages us to,
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
Forgiveness is an expression of the heart of God. Forgiveness is a blessing that none of us deserve yet God extends to each one of us without fail, over and over through his love and mercy for us. What an honor and a joy it is to step into that and receive it. It’s not always easy and it takes a lot of hard work, prayer, and time. But once you’ve both received and extended the act of forgiveness to someone else it’s like a refreshing soul-cleanse allowing us to be kind and compassionate to others in a way that’s honoring the heart of God.
Questions for Reflection:
Have you found yourself stuck holding onto bitterness or resentment instead of choosing to forgive?
Is it harder for you to forgive yourself or others? Why?
Comments